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the no contact rule

Why You Should Never Use The No Contact Rule & What To Do Instead

Did you just have a breakup with your partner and wondering if the no contact rule really works? If that is the case, you have come to the right article. I will tell you the pros and cons of the no contact rule as well as will share my personal experience with this rule and what I think about it. Keep reading to know more about the no contact rule.

What is the no contact rule?

The no contact rule basically means cutting all communication with your ex. This includes not calling, not texting, not emailing, and not trying to get in touch with them on any shape or form.

How long does the no contact rule last?

Generally, the not contact rule lasts for a minimum 4 weeks. But it is believed that time frame is not enough for some people, specially those who were in long-term and serious relationships. So, there is not an exact time frame for this rule.

What is the purpose of no contact rule?

The purpose of no contact rule is to detox from the toxicity of the breakup. Through the no contact rule, you and your partner get to know what life would be like without one another and letting you both gain perspective on the relationship.

They say the no contact rule is the best strategy to heal from the pain of breakup and even get your ex chasing you again.

the no contact rule

5 Benefits of the no contact rule

  1. You learn to be happy and comfortable with yourself – When the relationships end, and you are no longer in contact with your partner, you start putting yourself first and prioritizing yourself. You discover you true self and who you really are as a person. You begin to fall in love with yourself once again.
  2. You start to embrace how life was before your ex- in the process of healing from the breakup, you can relieve the life that you lived before you met your ex. This means going back to the hobbies and passions you once had. You will get to learn once again how is it to be in your own company and make yourself happy.
  3. You can win your power back again- This is special true for those who have been dumped by their partner. When your partner dumps you, when you do not beg them or chase them to take you back, with time you begin to have control over your mind and your heart. Due to this reason itself, you would many people who have dumped their partners come chasing them back after days of breaking up with them.
  4. You get to analyze your mistakes and learn from them- After the breakup happens, you are all alone by yourself. You can analyze exactly what went wrong in the relationship and what role did you play that lead to the breakup. You get to see things clearly for what they are, and you get to correct those mistakes.
  5. It stops you from looking clingy and needy- Believe it or not, being clingy or desperate is one of the biggest turnoffs for most people out there. When you give yourself time to heal, analyze and be comfortable on your own, you can get rid of that unattractive neediness.

What are the rules for practicing no contact ?

  • Do not call or text them.
  • Do not try to bump into them accidently.
  • Do not email them.
  • Do not get in touch with their friends or relatives, trying to convince them to get back together with you.
  • Do not stalk them on social media.
  • Do not yell at them for breaking up with you.
  • Do not attend their calls until the no contact period is over.
the no contact rule

What I personally feel about the no contact rule?

In my humble opinion, a lot of people are using the no contact rule to manipulate their exes. I do not personally agree with using any sort of manipulation because it is short lived, you might get them back chasing you, but it will not last long.  Your relationship will fall apart again soon after. What I personally would recommend is –

  • Give them space after breakup – Give them the time and the space to miss you. Do not use this as a manipulative tactic, let them feel the pain of the breakup.
  • Do not beg/chase them – Never ever beg your ex to take your back. They might feel pity for you and take you back, but it will not be out of love. It would be temporary and what is worse, you will respect in their eyes.
  • Do not stalk them – Do not stalk to see whom they are talking to or what not. You will end up messing yourself even more and they will begin to see you as a crazy person.
  • Analyze what went wrong & work on yourself  – Analyze what went wrong. Take responsibility for your mistakes. Work on yourself so you do not repeat the same mistakes again.
  • Reply them if they get in contact- Reply them in a polite and genuine manner when they get in touch with you. Do not yell at them or try to punish them for breaking up with you. Now, this does not mean you will let them walk all over you. A wise person always has strong boundaries but is kind and humble at the same time.
  • Take things slow- Once they reach out, do not try to jump to where you guys were before the breakup happened. Take things slow and see where it goes. Do not try to pressurize them to get back with you.

Check out my "Will My Ex Come Back Quiz"

You can check out my “Will my ex come back quiz” by clicking on the popup on your screen and checkout your chances of getting back with your ex. I’ve had a lot of good reviews on the quiz.

Also, you can checkout my other articles regarding breakups HERE.

To finish this of guys, I would highly recommend you not to use any sort of manipulation tactics to get back together with your ex. Look at the bigger picture instead and find the solution for long term.

If you have any questions regarding this feel free to email me or comment below.

Breakup Quotes

the no contact rule
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4 thoughts on “Why You Should Never Use The No Contact Rule & What To Do Instead”

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