Are you tried of constantly fighting with your significant other ? Trying to figure out , if its normal to fight everyday in a relationship ? , no worries in this article I will be answering all these questions . Keep reading to learn more .
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF HAVING FIGHTS OR ARGUMENTS IN A RELATIONSHIP ?
A fight in a relationship can be defined as a conflict or a disagreement amongst the partners. It means having a different opinion, to that of your partner. Fights in a relationship often lead to us being incredibly angry, hurt, sad or depressed.
WHY DO WE HAVE FIGHTS WITH OUR PARTNER ?
The major reason you are having fights / arguments with your partner is due to the difference of opinions amongst the two of you.
Fights also occur due to lack of understanding between the partners. Lack of trust is also a dominant cause of having arguments in a relationship (Read my article, why is it important to trust your partner in a relationship?). Arguments also occur when you and your partner have a lack of empathy towards one another.
Fights happen when you are your better half fail to understand each other’s point of view.
IS IT NORMAL TO FIGHT EVERYDAY IN A RELATIONSHIP ?
Yes, to a certain extent it is normal to fight every day in a relationship. But, fighting daily also symbolizes that you and your partner lack understanding and empathy towards each other. It shows that you have major things that need to be fixed and worked upon in your relationship in order for you to have a happy relationship.
HOW OFTEN DO COUPLES FIGHT OR ARGUE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP ?
The answer to this question simply does not exist. This is because every couple is different and unique. Every relationship has its own ups and downs, which are different for every couple. So, it becomes impossible to calculate an exact number for the same.
That being said, happy days should be more than sad days with your partner.
WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING ARGUMENTS IN A RELATIONSHIP ?
While most of us do not enjoy fighting or arguing with our partners as they make us feel drained and exhausted, there are several benefits of having arguments in a relationship such as: –
- Fighting often helps us communicate our needs clearly to our partner– When we argue with our partner, more often than not, it occurs due to some unmet need of ours. Our partner can learn about our unmet needs through fighting.
- Fighting helps us learn new things about our partner– Many a times, after an argument we end up learning something new about our partner that we might not have been aware of prior to the argument.
- Arguments helps us growand develop– While it is extremely easy to suppress an argument, but arguments can actually help us grow. It helps us look at the issues in a logical manner and fix them.
- Arguments often help us feel better– Through arguments, most of us are able to share the deep stuff that has been bothering us. This indeed helps us feel less burdened and free.
- It helps in creating more intimacy in the relationship– Fights can help in creating more intimacy in a relationship as you and your partner get to know each other on a deeper level.
HOW TO HAVE HEALTHY ARGUMENTS , THAT WILL ACTUALLY BENEFIT YOUR RELATIONSHIP ?
There are some essential things that you must keep in mind while having a fight or argument with your partner. Here is a list of some tips that will actually benefit your relationship during an argument-
- Do not complain during disagreements, instead switch to making requests– Avoid nagging, complaining, or blaming your partner. Complaining will only create negativity. Instead, try making requests.
- Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes– Try to see things from your partner’s perspective and have a clearer look at the situation. Try to understand where they are coming from.
- Let them speak, listen to them actively– Many us do not give our partners the chance to talk. we want to be heard, but we are not willing to listen. Let them speak and hear their side too.
- Take a break if needed– If the argument starts to take a nasty turn, take a break. Give each other time to cool off. You can discuss it later once you both are calm and collected.
- Apologize to your partner if needed– If you find yourself at fault, do not hesitate to apologize to your partner. Take accountability for what you did wrong.
- Stay calm and collected– During the argument, try to stay calm. Do not get defensive.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WORST THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO DURING AN ARGUMENT OR A FIGHT ?
I have already listed what to do in order to have a healthy argument, what about what we should never do during an argument? Here is a list of what you should completely avoid during an argument –
- Do not hit below the belt– What this actually means is, do not get nasty towards your partner. Be careful of what you say during an argument.
- Do not walkway in between of a fight– Do not walk out on your partner in between, wait for them to finish what they are saying. If, after that you think you need a time out, ask them in a polite manner.
- Do not take any major decisions during the fight– When a fight is going on, most of us are feeling angry or upset. Major decisions are meant to be taken when you are in a good mindset, not during arguments.
- Do not bring up past issues– Try to stay present in the argument. Do not bring stuff up from the past and use it against your partner. This will end up creating more misunderstanding between you and your partner.
- Do not argue over text– One of the worst things you can do is arguing over texts. Texts are meant for short conversations, not for having arguments.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MOST COMMON CAUSES OF DISAGREEMENTS IN A RELATIONSHIP ?
Here is a list of the most common reasons that cause arguments amongst relationships:
- Issues related to money
- Issues related to intimacy
- Lack of communication
- Issues regarding not spending enough time together
- Issues regarding household chores
- Unresolved issues from the past
- Issues caused due to jealousy
- Trouble handling emotions
- Issues regarding friends and family
We can conclude that arguments and disagreements are a part of every relationship. It is the way we deal with disagreements and fights that makes or breaks or relationship. Fights can actually help us build stronger intimacy with our partner, improving our relationship.
I hope this article would be helpful for couples. If you liked my article, share it. You can check out more of my particles at www.theloveadvice.com.
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